Took the Blue Mountain tour today, an all day tour from 8am – 7pm. A bus pulled up to at the hotel and a big jolly guide called Michael got out, introduced himself and checked us on bus. There were about 15 people on the tour, Germans, Brits, Americans, Turks, Aussies, Dutch.

The first stop was at a national park, we were almost guaranteed to see kangaroos. We took a short bush walk with Michael, he showed us wallaby burrows, kookaburra birds, and wallaby dung (green and thick), and a family of bag pipe playing gypsies on the way to the ‘roos.

There was a group of people taking photos near a bushy area. We popped over to see, there was a ‘roo, a large male. We were quite close but not too close as to be intrusive. An Italian, from the group already there, was sneaking closer and whistling to it. Their guide got them all to leave but the Italian wouldn’t budge, he kept approaching the ‘roo, his guide told him off, he carried on. Michael said ‘why don’t you stroke him, see what happens’. Kangaroos can be very defensive, it was his territory, and the claws on him were scarily big. We were all thinking ’go on Skippy batter him!’. The Italians guide lost patience with him and told him to leave the tour, he left then’. We stuck around and got some pics then left.

Next stop was a view of the Blue Mountains gorge. An vast open canyon full of trees, some rain forest and a few joy ridden cars pushed over the edge. We all swapped cameras for the usual cheesy shots. Met a couple of Americans, Geoff and Angelique, from L.A. Then there was Tom from Chicago, so far he was late at every stop, but funny with it and never shut his mouth.

On to the Three Sisters and lunch, the Three Sisters are 3 large upright rocks and legend has it that blah, blah, blah. Had lunch and Michael then sorted out the tickets for the next stop.

At the next stop some of us got dropped off at a cable car across a canyon. There is a glass bottom floor in the middle. The trees looked like broccoli from here, and there is a good view of a waterfall.

Across the other side we got out and straight onto a downhill tram. It starts out quite steep then suddenly you go over the edge and are heading downhill at a controlled pace at 52 degrees, you aren’t strapped in and it feels like you could drop out.

At the bottom there are 3 walks available, all of different length, we chose the mid length one, it was just a boardwalk through trees, not really any variation, unless you’re a tree nerd. Pleased we didn’t do the long walk.

It was mid afternoon now and we set off to a small town. Here there is some small town shops. Also at this stop was a teapot museum, we had half an hour to kill and it started to drizzle. That’s how they get you! We had to go in the teapot museum, thrilling. This place was proof that it is possible to sleep with our eyes open.

On the journey back we nodded off, the only thing that kept waking me was Toms constant chat about nothing in particular, I think he loved the sound of his own voice, man he could stretch out a long pointless drivell about which car company sold the most year by damn year. A personal highlight was overhearing about his sleeping pattern, poor Geoff and Angelique had to join in the whole way back.

Michael dropped us all off at a dock to catch a boat the rest of the way back. It was quite a large boat and pretty quick too. There was indoor and outdoor seating. I pottered about. Three times I tripped over the same step going in and out the door, much to Beckys delight, I was starting to feel like a bit a lummox.

Becky got take away sushi for tea and I got a got a pie with a face on, from now on I will only eat pies with faces on.

There is a bus called the Bondi Explorer that leaves Sydney and takes about 2 hours to circle a route through the city and past some beaches and then back to the city. We hadn’t any plans for any surfing or lounging around the beach days until we’d left Sydney behind us but thought this could be fun. Plus how can you come here and not see Bondi beach?

Bondi beach is a lot smaller than we imagined, but also a beautiful beach. We opted to take the coastal walk along to Bronte beach to catch the next bus. It’s an amazing walk, there a plenty of locals jogging the route, I’m jealous, what a place to live. We lay on a grass embankment for a bit, there’s a dog that comes to see us, he lets us fuss him, he sits on my legs, he sees another dog and scarpers. Walking this route reminds me of living by the surf in Cornwall, it saddens me, I desperately miss the sea. The sound, the smell, the breeze, the sometimes painful crush of the wave, the over too quick catch of a wave.

The aforementioned tickets we had bought covered us for travel until late. So that night we asked the hotel how to get to Kings Cross, an undesirable area full of seedy bars, bright lights, strippers and prostitutes. They kept suggesting we get a taxi or the tube, no way matey. We’ve paid for these tickets and by God we’re gonna get as much as we can out of ‘em.

We got the bus to Kings Cross and relied upon my geographical skills to tell when we were there. No worries. On the way there we sat behind 2 Aussie girls and were subjected to listen to their high school style talk the whole way there.

I recognised Kings Cross straight away from the bus ride through there this morning, it’s bright and trashy. I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get in anywhere in my scruffy trainers, I had no room for nice clothes in my backpack. This didn’t prove to be a problem.

After spending too much in a short space of time we took a walk around Kings Cross, there are plenty of ‘ladies of the night’ hanging about. There are also plenty of dirty blokes about picking up these ladies. Sadly, they give off the image that they’ve just pulled a stunner. Everyone is in large groups of young ladies or young men and I’m walking off with Becky in a short skirt (her not me), maybe I look like ‘one of them’ too, cool, got me a lady of the night too! She’ll still be there in the morning though.

As previously arranged with Lat the taxi driver we got picked up at 5am to reach Angkor Wat for sunrise. I thought it was a bit daft going so early but as it turns out we weren’t alone. You pay to enter the area on a day pass, a 3 day pass is available but not at all necessary, just suffer the heat and do it! Lat stopped at the front and said something like ‘you go there, and then come here to pee in trees’…..what? I thought he wanted us to use the toilet in the trees. Why would he want this, I noticed the ‘P’ for parking sign at the trees…aaaahhh, I get it now.

There are plenty of photo opportunities along the walk up, as we were there an hour before the sun popped its smile over the temple tops we decided to wander around the inside areas while everyone else lingered at the front. At that time it’s light enough to see most of the steps and get a good view of the grounds pretty much undisturbed. There is a certain eerie feeling about the place as it’s dark and quiet, and the stone is blackened making it look almost burnt. Through the back we could hear the distinctive sound of a gecko, I can’t describe it properly without doing the noise but it is rarely heard.

We went back to the growing masses for sunrise and it is slightly tinged by the few clouds about. There was a little dog scooting around and his owner lady was approaching people offering hot coffee, yeah, cos I really need warming up, it’s only a chilly 33 degrees at 6 in the morning.

On leaving the temple there are suddenly kids running at you from every angle ‘please sir, you want postcards?’, ‘you want bracelets?’, ‘you need flute?’. it was a bit intimidating at first but they seriously will not take no thanks for an answer. You desperately want to help each and every one of them out but as soon as your wallets out, that’s it!

Angkor Wat is definitely the most impressive temple we have ever seen. It is less bright than many others and still ruined enough to maintain its dignity.

For the rest of the morning we visit a few more temples, notably Ta Phrom (where Tomb Raider was filmed) being the next most impressive.

There were also many more kids at each entrance/exit, still we didn’t buy anything. Normally we wouldn’t be so tight, but we have no room to pack this stuff. One girl was following us saying ’England hey?, Prime minister Gordon Brown, last PM Tony Blair, capital is London….’ the list went on, I was followed by a girl, 5 or 6 years old, offering me flutes and playing them as I walked. I feel awful, but there are dozens and dozens of them. At our last stop when we exit we are again smothered. Nobody else is being harassed but I think the difference is that most people will not make eye contact or even acknowledge their existence. We can’t be that rude though, we can’t just dismiss people like that. We head to Lats car and are begged upon the whole way and by a boy no older than 4 and a tiny dirty girl no more than 3, it wretches your heart. We buy flutes from the boy and I give some money to the girl. What are we going to do with two flutes?

At the end of some temple stops Lat would say ‘you walk over there to next temple, go see it, I wait for you down the road, under a tree in the car’ cheers mate! You go get nice and chilled in your air-con under a tree and we’ll walk along side you in this toaster.

Tour over for now and back to the hotel for a swim as its too hot to be out in the open. We lay under an umbrella, swim, rinse, dry, swim, rinse, dry.

The afternoon pick-up with Lat was at 4.30pm. It was an hours drive to port, if anyone else was driving it would be half that, I think he thought he was driving Miss Daisy. It was an interesting drive past houses on stilts, packs of dogs, the bumpiest road in the world, Lat cried out ’Bampy Rood’. It always fascinates me just to sit back and travel through the changing scenery, from dirty rivers to fields upon fields of Lotus flowers, I saw so much I can’t even recall it.

At the port we buy a boat ticket for the floating village, the boat can hold up to 10 but we ended up in our own. Our pilot was called Dookie, a young happy guy. The boat ride to the main village takes a good half hour with much to see en route. There is a floating boat garage, floating houses, kids playing in the water, passenger boats stuck in the riverbed (hope that’s not gonna be us soon). As we reach the main village the river opens up into a vast lake with battered wooden boats everywhere. It’s surreal to see, I can’t explain just how many boats there are. We chug about them and it’s a sad sight to see toddlers stumbling around such tiny dwellings forever bobbing about. There is a floating basketball court, a school, bars, clubs. But still all are poverty stricken wooden shacks bobbing about. Nearly all the occupants are very welcoming and smiley. Dookie tells us about the childrens school and how they have no money or equipment. There is a shop to buy books and pencils from for the kids, seems a bit of a swizz, but we really want to be able to help even if a little bit. To get in the shop we pull up to it and attach a rope, then climb up the walk along the front of the boat and jump onto the shop.

In this tiny floating shop with barely enough room to stand upright in there was a monkey. Poor little thing was tied by a chain and a bit of wire to a rail with about 3 inches slack on it. It was going mad and trying to chew through the chain. There was snacks, water, beer, all the essentials and of course stationary for the school. He wanted an absurd amount of money for a pack of books and a bunch of pencils, he wouldn’t even entertain bargaining, I guess a lot of people just pay it. If only he could be a bit more generous to the school himself, he would still make money and the school would benefit. But it seems it’s a tough life for everyone there. We walk away with just pencils for the school.  We get to the school and drop the pencils in to a very grateful teacher. The pupils all went home an hour earlier but there is a girl who won’t let go of my hand and keeps thanking me.

Next Dookie takes us to the floating crocodile farm. There’s a good view point from a raised level and we take some photos of a young boy splashing about, he enjoys the attention and starts waving and shouting, it sounded like ’gimme a dollar’. There was a guy trying to get us to put pythons on ourselves but…no! Then as we are heading back to look at the crocodiles he jokingly tries to throw me in, hilarious hey? There were loads of them some big, some small but all hard as nails looking.

Then we leave, back on the boat, feeling the hot breeze. It’s like being a hamster in front of a hair dryer.

Jumped on the tubes to go see some mosques, the Sultan Abdul building and Merdeka Square. The surrounding town is nothing like the city centre area of KL, it’s dirtier, dodgier, noisier, more intimidating, it’s great. It feels a lot more real and full of character. There is a real sense of community as locals are gathered round food stalls and stereos and just hanging out in groups on the streets.

Again it’s a scorcher, and getting to and from Merdeka Square is a chore. After we got the token snaps we tottled off to the market.

This indoor market was good plus it had air-con. There were t-shirts, bracelets, jewellery, food, an antiques store that has everything from old records to giant a old ET teddy, I desperately want to buy the giant, old ET teddy, that would seriously make all my friends jealous. Plenty to look around, we bought some unknown fruits from a preserved fruit and veg stall then perched at the edge of a coffee shop to eat them.

On leaving the market we spot an alleyway with tables spread out, there are cockerels let loose on them, one on each table, and men behind the tables on chairs with cages full of cockerels behind them. We are curious.  The cocks were not walking properly and didn’t seem capable of flying, they weren’t tied up but also weren’t trying to escape. The signage was all foreign to me, but it seemed like they were fighting cocks, some looked battered.

On the return tube we had to form a less than orderly queue to get on. We missed the first tube as we obviously weren’t being violent enough. The next one pulled up and we were ready. The doors opened and it was already full up to the door, we just had to force our way in, many more also did behind us. At first the door wouldn’t close properly, it just kept striking the guys unfortunate enough to be near the doorway. It was funny in a way, you didn’t even need to hold on as you were cheek to cheek with loads of strangers. There was a lady somewhere behind me that laughed all the way to her stop, it wasn’t quite that funny. We got to our stop and involuntarily shoot off the train.

It’s been raining again and the walk back has one main obstacle for someone waling around in flip- flops, a shiny tiled floor all the way back. I keep slipping. There are deep puddles, I don’t mind these, it’s nice and refreshing but the slipping and sliding makes you walk like a baby, you know when they start stumbling and can’t stop till they hit something or crash on their face.

Early night so we can be picked up at 4am to get to the airport. Shame tonight was the night that everyone on the road decided they should have a pile up in their cars outside our hotel and sit there for the rest of the night sounding the horn.

The time flies by and since the flight is only short we are in Kuala Lumpur before we know it. Off to the taxi stand we go. We read in the Lonely Planet guide that it should cost about 70RM to get to the city centre but they try to charge us 180RM! No way we say, so they say 90RM and we say no way and start to walk off. Suddenly the price is 67RM so we agree to this and take a ticket, that’s more like it!

Arriving at the hotel I am really excited as it’s 5 star luxury here since it’s so cheap. After checking in I skip down the corridor to our room, open the door and … I’m home. This is more like it! It’s huge, modern and swanky with great furniture and a gorgeous bathroom. I don’t ever want to leave! I check out all the stuff we get in the bathroom, washing powder, combs, bathrobes, toothbrushes, free bottles of water etc, the list is endless. I want to stay but we decide to pop out for a bit and get some tea.

Stepping out of our hotel we marvel at the Petronas towers which rise up tall above us. Apparently the 4th tallest building in the world. We walk inside them and it’s a huge shopping complex, many stories high and since it’s Saturday it’s packed full of people. We stop by a book store since we have run out of things to read. The store is massive and we get lost in it and can’t find anything we want, then we see the Jack Kerouac books and decide on one of those, a modern classic.

Once the buffet breakfast (I limited myself to only 3 Danish pastries and a yoghurt) was over we waited in reception for our snorkelling trip to start. A small bus took 12 of us out to the jetty and we boarded a grotty looking blue speedboat. Everyone started sitting down on the seats on the left side and the boat started tilting over, someone weigh down the other side, quick! The boat had a canopy over the top of it so phew we thought, at least we will be in the shade. Off we sped in our rickety boat, full speed ahead. The bench we had to sit on was hard metal/plastic and was really uncomfy, it was alright for the driver who had a thick padded cushion to sit on. Faster we went and the water got choppier so the boat bounced along and our bums were smashed up and down on the hard bench. It was a bone shaking ride and seemed to last ages before we got to our first stop, Coral Island. After some snorkelling there we got on the boat to go round the other side of the island to Malang Rock for a bit more snorkelling and then on to the marine park. Last stop was Renggis Island and this was by far the best, lots of coral and different fish to see. They told us that they often see reef sharks there and we really wanted to see them so we swam around the entire island (it sounds impressive but it’s not that big) but didn’t see one.

After another bone shaking journey we arrive back with our bruised bums but still intact and luckily it’s lunch time!

Refusing to pay hotel prices we walk to the nearest restaurant outside of the hotel and what a great decision. Along the way we encounter a few monitor lizards and best of all, some monkeys! They stand in front of us and I get a few pics, then they start lifting each others tails up and sniffing bums. Eurgh! Then we see a tiny baby one hanging on it’s mothers belly it’s so sweet!

It’s about this time that we notice that we seem to be getting redder and redder. So much for that shade on the boat, turns out we’ve gotten really burnt from snorkelling and it’s getting really sore. Oh dear.

Later I fall asleep in the shade and Andy and Louise sit in the pool for ages trying to ease the burn but all they achieve is very wrinkly skin.

Walking out of the hotel grounds we hope to see more monkeys but all we see is a monkey trail of destruction, ripped open bin bags and banana skins discarded on the floor.

We have our evening meal at the cheap local restaurant. We all choose the Nasi Goreng which is gorgeous and on costs £1 each so we are back on budget..score!

We wandered around the marina area and then headed to Raffles, the famous hotel. Along the way we got stuck indoors as a sudden downpour that I’d been praying for happened. It didn’t last long. So, Raffles, the main entrance has loads of tourists taking snaps of it and taking a look round the entrance lobby to see the grandeur of the place. 

The Long Bar at Raffles is apparently as famous as the hotel and the birth place of the popular cocktail the Singapore Sling. On entering the place you notice a crunchy feeling under foot, this is because you get a bowl full of monkey nuts on the table and you just peel them and chuck them on the floor. The thing to do in here is to say you’ve been and had a Singapore Sling (a snippet at £12).

In the evening we went to Clarke Quay, this is a brightly painted area with most its attractions alongside the river. It has a slight Disneyesque look about the place with so many lights and bright colours. Don’t let that put you off though, there are countless bars and places to eat. Some of the bars are ultra cool, for instance our personal fave was a bar called Clinic, all the seating is outdoors and the seats are either hospital beds or golden wheelchairs. The best bit is the signature cocktail…..a Blood Infusion, it’s a deep red cocktail brought to your table served in a drip on a proper drip stand, disgusting but brilliant (this would set you back £25). The one thing missing from these trendy bars was customers, the area itself was busy but nobody was using the bars, I can only assume it’s down to the cost, shame really.

We went Thai for tea, I ordered an extra spicy papaya salad, if you’ve never had one, a good one will blow your head off.

We decided we needed some beach action for a change of scenery. So we set off to Sentosa Island, Singapores man made resort. A taxi driver told us what the locals think Sentosa stands for : S.E.N.T.O.S.A; So Expensive Nothing To See Anyway.

That just about summed it up.

Sentosa Island is extremely commercial and all the beaches are man made using sand sourced from other coasts (like Cancun) and has a very false feel to the place. It provides an escape for the locals on the weekend as a trip to the seaside. There aren’t many sun loungers and even less shaded areas on the beach and therefore is way too scorching if the sun is out, which it was. There is a huge statue of a merlion (half lion, half mermaid) on the island. Also, there are many view points of the city and a sky tower. Disappointingly, most views were of cranes and building sites as they are really going to town on this place. It always seems odd to me that when a country/resort wants to attract foreigners they appear to think – I know what they’ll like, a McDonalds by the sea, a dolphin in a swimming pool, fish ’n’ chips, a bloody great big water slide so they won’t want to leave the front gate and see our country.

As for expensive, don’t get me going. We stopped for lunch at a beachside café (they’re all beachside) and we decided to share nachos and melted cheese, I’m surprised the nachos and plate didn’t melt in that heat. The cheese was gross, it was like gloopy margarine accompanied with a small bag of Doritos in a bowl for a mega saving £6, mmmm filling.

It soon became apparent, after a chat with a taxi driver that Singaporeans don’t really do cheese. He told us he’d had a first try of it just the night before, can you imagine that? I tried to explain the glorious world of cheese on toast, if only we’d have gotten stuck in traffic I could have told him about adding onions, chillis, tobasco etc. but it was hard enough explaining how to cook it. He spoke perfect English but could not grasp the fact that you didn’t microwave the cheese, or fry the bread from underneath to heat the cheese. So I suggested he order some stilton instead. I’m jealous of him, he has a whole world of cheese to discover.

After a MUCH needed shower, we went to the food court for tea (we don’t just eat all the time, we do other stuff too).the food court is a hive of activity where you can pick up any sort of food at a decent price. The best discovery was these little steamed coconut cakes filled with coconut. There is a sweet little old lady just dishing them out all day and night.

We went to Sri Mariamman Temple in China town, in the surrounding streets are lots of shops. The temple is Hindu and is one of the more charismatic ones I’ve seen. There is also some chanting and drum beating and other instruments being played as followers pray to their gods. They do walking on hot coals here where the devotees feel no pain, we had to remove our shoes at the front door and we could barely walk on the tiles exposed to the sun.

Onwards to Little India, a predominantly Indian quarter with more shrines and temples but more excitedly the popular Banana Leaf Apollo, famed for its fish head curry. We got a little lost on the way because the road you walk along suddenly changes name and the street you were on has become the one adjacent, I know that makes no sense. By now I have totally given up on trying to not look too sweaty. I’ll be frank here, it started out as damp armpit patches then slowly spreads into a dripping back, then comes the onslaught of the sun and there’s no shade, soon you have just a couple of dry spots left on your top until eventually you’re just walking around in a clingy almost see through wet rag.

Anyway, the Banana Leaf Apollo serves its meals on large banana leaves. It’s true what is said about the fish head curry, it is gorgeous. A large white snappers head (about the size of a foot) comes served in a dish in broth with vegetables. You get poppadoms, rice etc. served too and the use of cutlery is optional. There’s sufficient meat on the head for us to share. My right hand is soon a mess as I chose not to use cutlery, and the sauce stained my fingers, it also stained my chin and lower lip which no-one told me about and I didn’t notice until we got back later.

The Night Safari is billed as “the” must-do in Singapore. I don’t really get much satisfaction from seeing captivated animals though to be truthful. I can appreciate the fact that it’s a conservation area and are trying to help re-populate some species. There is a tram ride that states you are frighteningly close to the animals and is a hair raising experience, maybe if you’re 1. It’s better once you get off the tram and walk round. There were some highlights, for example the giant flying squirrels were fun to watch and the anteaters looked just plain stupid and out of proportion.

As we finish the walk we have to catch the last bus at 22.45 or you’re stuck and have to find a taxi.